jbaggles:

7 seasons of How I Met Your Mother in 52 seconds

#wow Barney should tell Ted’s kids how he met their mother because Ted is taking way too long

"Seven years ago when Marshall and Lily got engaged, Ted saw Robin across a crowded room and I said ‘oh yeah, you just know she likes it dirty’. But, Ted really liked her so we played "haaave you met Ted?"  They went to dinner. He walked her home. Should’ve kissed her. Didn’t. (Lame.) So he stole a smurf penis. Went back to her place. Should’ve kissed her. Didn’t. (Lame. ) He threw 3 parties. They kissed on the roof. But decided to be friends. (Lame.) Then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding. She couldn’t go. He went alone and he met Victoria. didn’t kiss her either, lame. (Not a great closer, Ted.) But he finally kissed her. They started dating. She went to Germany. Ted kissed Robin, lossed Victoria. Ted did a rain dance, got Robin. Ted and Robin broke up, Robin went to Brazil. Came back with a Latin stud. Ted got jealous, got a tramp stamp.  (Not really relevant to the story, I just like mentioning it as much as possible.) I hooked up with Robin. Ted and I stopped being friends. Then I got hit by a bus. We made up. Robin and I started dating. I got fat, her hair fell out. We broke up. Robin dated Don. I dated Nora. She ended it with Don and I dumped Nora. Robin dated Kevin, but not for long. And then I met you. And you took my grandpa’s watch, but I fell in love with you anyway and you let me fart in front of you. And I asked you to marry me and you said yes. And then we came over here to meet little Marvin and that’s everything!….Also, I went on the Price is Right and won a dune buggy.”
- Barney Stinson

"Seven years ago when Marshall and Lily got engaged, Ted saw Robin across a crowded room and I said ‘oh yeah, you just know she likes it dirty’. But, Ted really liked her so we played "haaave you met Ted?"  They went to dinner. He walked her home. Should’ve kissed her. Didn’t. (Lame.) So he stole a smurf penis. Went back to her place. Should’ve kissed her. Didn’t. (Lame. ) He threw 3 parties. They kissed on the roof. But decided to be friends. (Lame.) Then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding. She couldn’t go. He went alone and he met Victoria. didn’t kiss her either, lame. (Not a great closer, Ted.) But he finally kissed her. They started dating. She went to Germany. Ted kissed Robin, lossed Victoria. Ted did a rain dance, got Robin. Ted and Robin broke up, Robin went to Brazil. Came back with a Latin stud. Ted got jealous, got a tramp stamp.  (Not really relevant to the story, I just like mentioning it as much as possible.) I hooked up with Robin. Ted and I stopped being friends. Then I got hit by a bus. We made up. Robin and I started dating. I got fat, her hair fell out. We broke up. Robin dated Don. I dated Nora. She ended it with Don and I dumped Nora. Robin dated Kevin, but not for long. And then I met you. And you took my grandpa’s watch, but I fell in love with you anyway and you let me fart in front of you. And I asked you to marry me and you said yes. And then we came over here to meet little Marvin and that’s everything!
….
Also, I went on the Price is Right and won a dune 
buggy.”

- Barney Stinson