"Seven years ago when Marshall and Lily got engaged, Ted saw Robin across a crowded room and I said ‘oh yeah, you just know she likes it dirty’. But, Ted really liked her so we played "haaave you met Ted?"  They went to dinner. He walked her home. Should’ve kissed her. Didn’t. (Lame.) So he stole a smurf penis. Went back to her place. Should’ve kissed her. Didn’t. (Lame. ) He threw 3 parties. They kissed on the roof. But decided to be friends. (Lame.) Then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding. She couldn’t go. He went alone and he met Victoria. didn’t kiss her either, lame. (Not a great closer, Ted.) But he finally kissed her. They started dating. She went to Germany. Ted kissed Robin, lossed Victoria. Ted did a rain dance, got Robin. Ted and Robin broke up, Robin went to Brazil. Came back with a Latin stud. Ted got jealous, got a tramp stamp.  (Not really relevant to the story, I just like mentioning it as much as possible.) I hooked up with Robin. Ted and I stopped being friends. Then I got hit by a bus. We made up. Robin and I started dating. I got fat, her hair fell out. We broke up. Robin dated Don. I dated Nora. She ended it with Don and I dumped Nora. Robin dated Kevin, but not for long. And then I met you. And you took my grandpa’s watch, but I fell in love with you anyway and you let me fart in front of you. And I asked you to marry me and you said yes. And then we came over here to meet little Marvin and that’s everything!….Also, I went on the Price is Right and won a dune buggy.”
- Barney Stinson

"Seven years ago when Marshall and Lily got engaged, Ted saw Robin across a crowded room and I said ‘oh yeah, you just know she likes it dirty’. But, Ted really liked her so we played "haaave you met Ted?"  They went to dinner. He walked her home. Should’ve kissed her. Didn’t. (Lame.) So he stole a smurf penis. Went back to her place. Should’ve kissed her. Didn’t. (Lame. ) He threw 3 parties. They kissed on the roof. But decided to be friends. (Lame.) Then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding. She couldn’t go. He went alone and he met Victoria. didn’t kiss her either, lame. (Not a great closer, Ted.) But he finally kissed her. They started dating. She went to Germany. Ted kissed Robin, lossed Victoria. Ted did a rain dance, got Robin. Ted and Robin broke up, Robin went to Brazil. Came back with a Latin stud. Ted got jealous, got a tramp stamp.  (Not really relevant to the story, I just like mentioning it as much as possible.) I hooked up with Robin. Ted and I stopped being friends. Then I got hit by a bus. We made up. Robin and I started dating. I got fat, her hair fell out. We broke up. Robin dated Don. I dated Nora. She ended it with Don and I dumped Nora. Robin dated Kevin, but not for long. And then I met you. And you took my grandpa’s watch, but I fell in love with you anyway and you let me fart in front of you. And I asked you to marry me and you said yes. And then we came over here to meet little Marvin and that’s everything!
….
Also, I went on the Price is Right and won a dune 
buggy.”

- Barney Stinson

100 Screencaps of How I Met Your Mother; 013/100↳ Ted: How great is it to drink some Tantrum again?Marshall: You know who had fun, was Lily. Lily drank like, four cans of the stuf. Right, Lil? … Where’s Lily?Lily: TANTRUM!

100 Screencaps of How I Met Your Mother013/100
↳ Ted: How great is it to drink some Tantrum again?
Marshall: You know who had fun, was Lily. Lily drank like, four cans of the stuf. Right, Lil? … Where’s Lily?
Lily: TANTRUM!

100 Screencaps of How I Met Your Mother; 009/100↳ Marshall: I got it! You ready? You ready? Lily and Marshall Awesome. Have you met the Awesomes? Marshall, Lily, their son Totally, and their daughter Freakin’?  Lily: I love you, Mr. Awesome,Marshall: I love you, Mrs. Awesome. 

100 Screencaps of How I Met Your Mother009/100
 Marshall: I got it! You ready? You ready? Lily and Marshall Awesome. Have you met the Awesomes? Marshall, Lily, their son Totally, and their daughter Freakin’?
Lily: I love you, Mr. Awesome,
Marshall: I love you, Mrs. Awesome. 

100 Screencaps of How I Met Your Mother; 006/100↳"Just a burger? Just a burger. Robin, it’s so much more than ‘just a burger.’ I mean…that first bite — oh, what heaven that first bite is! The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then… a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a…a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us through food." - Marshall Eriksen

100 Screencaps of How I Met Your Mother006/100
"Just a burger? Just a burger. Robin, it’s so much more than ‘just a burger.’ I mean…that first bite — oh, what heaven that first bite is! The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then… a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a…a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread, Robin. This is God, speaking to us through food." - Marshall Eriksen